After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
