i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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