Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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