I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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