Pappa wants mamma naked
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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