Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
