she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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