Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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