I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
