physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
