i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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