ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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