my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
