Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Farmville is her only friend.

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(419): View more from Ohio

A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.

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(613): View more from Ontario

on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window

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(850): View more from Florida

No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....

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(720): View more from Colorado

Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????

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(847): View more from Illinois

Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

The best walk of shames are on the highway

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