well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
