Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
