it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
