He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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