I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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