Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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