He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
it glows. i had to have it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
