what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
