How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He has the fingertips of a God
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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