covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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