Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
