i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
