When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
