i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
