Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
