how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
