i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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