good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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