I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
