Porn is love you can see.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
