Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
