this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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