sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
