You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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