You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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