He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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