Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
