this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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