bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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