I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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