porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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