You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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