We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
