he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i think my cat just said my name.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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