i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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