You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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