i barfeds in our rink
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
