toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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