my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
