also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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