Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
