Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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