I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
