she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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