You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
