There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize