Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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