Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
should my penis look like a turkey
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
