I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We just shotgunned beers for America
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
