i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
