If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
