It's Friday. Sex?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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