Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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