Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
