Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
