The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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