Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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