people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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