i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
