Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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