party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
