My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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