***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
