bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
