Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
