Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
