Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
